How do we get here? Seeking validation Seeking love.. The urge to scream out and ask what makes you deserve this pain?
Do we cry out for seeking sympathy? Or Do we cry because we are running out of our resilience trying to pour out the pinching burns of betrayals, pain, seperation, sorrows or maybe tears of joy. Why do people label the person seeking help and asking a shoulder to cry on? Why can’t we see that the person is tired of holding every pain and trauma of years inside him….Maybe not sympathy…..but a genuine warmth..It is difficult to move on when the person you lost was very close to your heart…When your mini world used to revolve around them and all of a sudden their absence eats you up. Those memories which might be happy or sad starts haunting you. People vanish, people? Die. People laugh and people cry. Some give up, some will try. Some say hi, while some say bye. Sympathy involves understanding from your own perspective.
Some of the common statements we can see as:
“My deepest sympathies to you and your family” “What a lovely person, who will be deeply missed.
You will get over it.”
“Everyone has problems. Its no big deal. Stop thinking about it. Keep your self busy.” And so on.
We live in a world where we can see people smile yet with their heart filled with pain and bruises we can’t see . A person can look confident yet have anxiety, Might look healthy but is feeling fragile inside Would be good looking but still feel ugly and have self-doubts or body image issues , They be smiling, laughing , talking yet feeling lonely inside. So be humble to everyone. Let’s try to be more empathetic instead of showing sympathy.Empathy involves putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and understanding WHY they may have these particular feelings…Listen actively. Effective listening must be active. Recognize their emotions. Emotions are important signs along the way to solving problems. …Accept their interpretations. Put Away Your distractipns , Your Judgments and Biases. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help.
Acceptance is the key…but the road towards it is full of constant efforts, tiny hopes. Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.
- Regards Aqsa Khatib